I am aching, and screaming, and wanting all at once.
I crave a firm hand on my ass, spanking it a nice warm pink that pushes me so close to the edge without taking me over. I miss the smell of leather, the anticipation as the tendrils of my favorite flogger are dragged every so softly down my back and then pull away… That split second of nothing, of waiting, not knowing when you will bring down the flogger or how hard that first strike will be. Only knowing that I need it.
I miss the feel of rope on my skin, of being tied and yanked and posed.. of feeling like some beautiful goddess as you toy with me, pinch me, kiss me, fuck me, and then pull away to sketch and paint the whole scene, a volley of emotions crossing through both of us. I miss being your muse, knowing that I inspire you to create instead of just being dead weight. I selfishly miss feeling beautiful, knowing it by the look in your eyes, not just hearing the words come out of your mouth.
I need my Dom. Not want. I want my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend. But I NEED my Dominant. I need one hand wrapped around my throat while another digs into my skin, grabbing me so hard that I bruise. I need marks left on my body from your hands, your teeth. From the toys. I need sting, thud, ache. I crave it all…to a near bursting point. It’s the only time I feel peace. I love our snuggles, I love the gentle touches and kisses…but I find myself waiting. Waiting for your hands to become more forceful, for those kisses to become nips and then bites… for the look in your eyes to change and suddenly it is my Dom looking at me, not my gentle lover. There is no arguing his orders, I wouldn’t think of it. The tone of voice used leaves no room for arguing. The firm look in the eye leaves only two options; follow orders or be punished. I even need that damn riding crop, and you know how I feel about that thing..
I want to be your favorite piece of property. Your shiny, most useful toy and accessory. I want to be your doll to dress up, your toy to use as you will, your housekeeper when necessary. Let me kneel at your feet when you return from work, fetch you drinks, make your dinner.. I don’t care if I’m tired, if I have a headache, or if I’ve had a bad day. Serving you gives me pleasure. It allows me to breathe..it’s the prelude to the peace that comes when you order me to bed with that look in your eyes telling me I’m in just the right amount of trouble.
Please, give me a firm hand. Push me. Make me cry. Lately the crying has been good… cathartic release. Give me the peace I only find under your hands. Bruise me. Mark me. Bite me…hurt me, please, without harming me. Push me to my absolute limit until I shatter and then hold me after..pick up my pieces and be my krazy glue. Hold me, dry my tears and remind me that I am untouchable when I am in your embrace.
You tasked me with making the first move… I made it in the only way I know how.
Your devoted submissive