I am struggling with the creative side of myself right now. I have been for a while.
I feel like I’m stuck in a fog whenever I try to work.. on anything. Getting myself up and motivated is a struggle. I’ll wake up early and watch the hours pass by in bed until I absolutely HAVE to go to work.
I hate this.. and the thing is? My life isn’t half bad.
I still have adventures to write about from Fusion. I’ve started six or seven drafts and haven’t manage to finish a single one. Even now when I’m writing my fingers feel like lead.. The temptation to close the computer screen and just walk away from the entry again is great.
I don’t know what caused this. But I am trying to fix it.
The people around me are driven creatively. They work hard for all they are able to do. They continually have projects to fiddle and tinker with. I’m trying to figure out where all of my projects went. Where this fog came from..and how I didn’t notice it until it was this bad.
Whenever I’ve been bothered by the Sleeping Man in the past it’s been with good reason. I’ve been going through a rough patch, in an unhappy relationship, stressed about money and making it by, etc.. And I’m not dealing with that right now. My relationship is good. My life is pretty good.
It could be better… it’s just getting myself moving again. Pulling myself out of the fog.
I have an idea.. the first for a sculpture in a long time.. Hopefully I will work on it tonight after work.. And I PROMISE I will get back to writing in here more frequently.
Because the thing is, while other parts of my life are okay the kinky side of things is GREAT. And I want to squee and spew about it.. But every time I try lead fingers happen.
I’ve got to get myself out of this fog.
Yours, as always,