Last Saturday was one of my favorite parties, Master’s Den. I was going with Ryan, and more than a little excited to get some serious 1 on 1 play time in before the holidays hit. He hasn’t been able to come to BaGG and I’ve been in serious need of owies… though I’ve needed more than that as well.
Once again, the holiday season is upon us! As one that lives in an area of transplants, I watch throughout the holiday seasons as my dear ones make their pilgrimages home, returning a week or so later craving their own beds and the cultural bubble of the Bay Area. My Daddy Ryan and myself are two of those transplants and will basically be spending two weeks apart when we’re used to seeing each other a couple times a week. Rather than be down about this (and pout epically, and whine about not getting Daddy for so long) I let my mind wander to possibilities.. Having distance, rather than being a hindrance, can be an opportunity to try a whole new set of games…
I didn’t want Daddy to go away. It scared me, lots. While we ate dinner, it scared me. While he gave me owies and made my bottom red, red red and tried to make it purple, it scared me. Even as he hid his lolly in my princess parts and yanked my hair as he fucked me, growing in my ear, ‘cum for Daddy’ it scared me.
Curled up in the nook after, Daddy traced his finger up and down my arm. I had my eyes closed, listening to the sound of his heartbeat and was trying not to think about him disappearing for a long long time. And not getting play. Or cummies. Or Daddy’s voice or hands or smell or..
“Kitten, tell me something you need me to know.”
“MEWWW” I squirmed in his arms as his grip tightened. The phrase was a hypno button he had set up months ago. The he said it, I had to answer truthfully. It was a reflex, an instinct, and a pain in the ass to fight.
“I’m scared of you going away and not getting Daddy time and you not wanting kitten time and being all bored with me and and..and losing connecting.” I hugged him tight, his chest hair tickling my nose as I burrowed further into the nook.
He chuckled. “That’s what’s bothering you? Such a silly kitten. Do you really think we aren’t going to play for two whole weeks?” I nodded frantically and he laughed again. “Oh no, sweetie. Daddy has plans for his little princess. We’re going to play a fun game while we’re apart, one with fun rules and prizes.” He ran his nail down my arm, making me purr at the slight twinge of pain. “Good girls get lots of prizes… Are you ready to learn the rules?”
Days later, Daddy was away. I was taking care of home, cleaning and washing and sweeping and petting the kitty; all the important things, and I was following the first rule of our game. Have my phone on me when I could. When I can’t, tell Daddy I couldn’t talk. Let him know when I come back.
Buzz Buzz. A message from Daddy. We had been talking all day, but this one was special.
Rule two of the new game was really simple. Look for the magic words.
Mmm.. Kitten? Daddy wants a present.
I squeed and squirmed, plopping down eagerly with the phone in my hands, waiting on further instruction. Rule three of the game was just that When Daddy says he wants a present, his little girl gets to do the best she can to give it to him. Whatever that present is.
How may I please you, Daddy?
Good Girl came the quick reply. I want you to go into the bedroom, strip down, and lay on the bed. Bring your phone and let me know when you’ve done as I asked.
I giggled as I ran to the bedroom, pulling off my clothing as I went. The moment my bare ass hit the bed I messaged Daddy.
Good job, kitten. Now, you see that lovely glass dildo on the floor of the bed? It was pretty, and BIG. Daddy had only used it on me once and it stretched my little cunny wide. I want you to be a good girl and fuck yourself with it. And I want to see. Send Daddy a video of you coming like a good little slut and you’ll get a reward.
I grabbed the dildo and had it angled at my entrance when my phone pinged again. Not so fast, princess. Show me that you properly prepped it.
I grinned, bringing the toy from the entrance of my cunny to my lips, slipping as much of it down my throat as I could and taking a selfie for Daddy.
Good girl. Now. Where’s my video?
The dildo, now slick with my saliva, slid in with little resistance. I propped my phone up against the pillows to get the best angle possible as I eagerly fucked myself, already squirmy from just a couple of days without sex. My moans turned into whimpers as I got close, eyes shut tight, imagining Daddy fucking me hard into the mattress, his hand wrapped around my throat and his cock buried balls-deep in me time, after time after time.
“Daddy!!! I’m cumming… cumming, cumming, cumming!!”
I slumped down onto the mattress, toy still inside me, and sent the video. A few minutes later I heard the ding of a message coming through.
Instead of words it was a sound bite, a short recording. I hit play and brought the phone to my ear in time to hear labored breathing on the other end. “Such a good girl” Daddy growled into the phone. “Ready for your reward?” I closed my eyes and moaned as I heard him cumming on the other end of the phone, suddenly turned on all over again. “You may cum again if you want, sweetie, but last time for tonight.” Out of habit I heard myself answer, “yes, Daddy” out loud, and then with gusto I began fucking myself all over again, listening to the recording for inspiration..
The next day I was at work, sitting at my desk trudging through paperwork. I had messages open, hiding behind tabs on my desktop, and saw the flash of a notification from Daddy. “I hope your having a good day, princess. Daddy wants a present.”
I was confused. Daddy knew I was at work. It’s not like I had naughty toys to fuck myself with at the office. “But Daddy.”
“No buts, princess. I know you’re at work. Now, what are the rules of our game?”
I sighed, even more confused. “How may I please you, Daddy?”
“By going into the bathroom right now and taking your panties off. Send me proof.” I stared at the message in shock. I had leggings and a dress on. A lack of panties wouldn’t kill me. But did he really expect me to sit around and squirm all day?
I slipped into the bathroom with my purse and wiggled out of my panties, sending Daddy a picture of them in my hand before throwing them into the bottom of my bag and pulling my leggings back up. My phone buzzed. “That’s not enough, princess. I asked you to show me proof that the panties were off.” My face turned bright red as I yanked my leggings down and raised my dress, sending Daddy a photo of my bare princess parts about to be covered in nothing but the thin leggings that he knew would be soaked by the end of the day. My phone buzzed again.
“That’s what I wanted. Good girl.” Another bing as a video came through. “You may watch this AFTER WORK. It’s your reward.” And a reward it was. I sat in my car after work staring at my phone as Daddy stroked himself hard, teasing me with a few for just a few moments before the camera turned off.
Days later I had gone bareback multiple times, slipped him a tit shot while at work, came silently while sitting in our local coffee shop after rubbing one off for him, and managed to send Daddy a photo of me fucking myself with my favorite vibrator with a plug in my ass. Now I was packing for my own trip. Daddy had been back in town for just a few hours, and I was disappearing just as he came back. I thought the game was over.
My phone buzzed. “Kitten, Daddy wants a present.” I wasn’t going to say no. I loved all the tasks he had given me. And in return, he had given me videos and sound bites to orgasm by. “I want you to bring your little black butt plug to the airport with you, in your carry on bag. Can you do that for Daddy?” I gulped before slipping it into my bag. Of course, Daddy. I like playing games.
It’s normal for me to let Daddy know when I’ve gotten to the airport, and through security and safely to my gate. What isn’t normal is getting marching orders once I get there. “I want you to go into the bathroom and slip the plug into that tight little asshole of yours. Show me proof.”
I ran to the restroom slipping into one of the stalls and hurriedly pulling my pants down. My flight would be boarding in moments, and I only had that little bit of time to wet the plug with my mouth and bit by bit toy my ass with it before slipping it in. It’s harder for me to keep silent during anal play. I had my eyes shut tight as I teased myself, trying my best not to pant or moan and alert the people in the stalls on either side that there was more than simple bathroom business going on. Once the plug was insert, I set a timer on my phone, turned, and spread my ass wide for Daddy to see the pretty little plug resting snuggly in my naughty back door. I sent the message and wanted to cry at the reply.
“Good girl. Now don’t you dare take that out until you’ve landed. Send me proof once you land that it’s still inside and you’ll get a very, very big reward sweetie.”
For SIX HOURS I squirmed in my seat, desperate to find a position that wouldn’t have me horny, or whimpering, or dripping. I kept my legs clamped firmly together and tried my best to sleep. It didn’t hurt, but it did keep me near on edge to the point where I could barely see straight by the time my flight ended.
I ran to the bathroom, flinging open the door of the first empty stall I could find and snapping my landing photo, ass spread wide again, cunny dripping between my legs. Immediately, Daddy responded.
“Good girl. You get your reward tonight, when you’re home and able to talk to just Daddy. I want you to call Daddy for a night night phone call, okay?”
I squealed out loud. I loved Daddy’s voice, and I missed it with him being gone. I suppose I’m a little bit of a sensory slut. “Yes, Daddy.”
At home, in bed, I called Daddy. I was still squirmy from the flight and had sat through dinner with my bio family and hours of conversation with the thought of what my reward would be. Daddy picked up on the second ring. “Well hello sweetie! Are you happy we’re still playing our little game?”
I giggled. “Yes, Daddy.. I’m just surprised.. I thought it would stop after your trip.”
“OH no, sweetie. That would make your trip just much too boring, now wouldn’t it?”
“Do you want more presents, Daddy?”
“Oh yes, sweetie. Quite a few more. Daddy is going to keep you nice and busy while you’re away. And when you come home, you’ll be nice and ready for Daddy to hide his lolly. Should Daddy tell you a bedtime story about how he’s going to hide it when you come home?”
“Oh, yes, please, Daddy!”
Daddy laughed. “That’s my good girl. Now touch yourself while I tell it and imagine all that Daddy is saying, okay? Once upon a time there was a squirmy little kitten that hadn’t gotten nearly enough lolly pop time..”
And that’s all, folks 😉 I hope you liked my little tale. I wanted to write in a scene about a hypno-fuck over Skype and a couple of naughty phone calls, buuuuut those can be entires in and of themselves. I hope the idea came across with the length being bearable. And now I’m squirmy and want to play with Daddy…
Yours, horny as hell
I needed to decompress, and of course he knew that. Daddy knew about my bad days, and that I had been squirmy most of the week… Daddy lets me tease him sometimes with pretty distractions from Tumblr. Whenever I ask if I should stop distracting him, Daddy says, “don’t you ever, kitten.” And I smile. A lot.
Yesterday we were both tired. We had been running, trying to adult on both ends, and it meant that we finally got to calm down and focus on each other hours into when our date technically ‘started’. I love tagging along to Daddy errands and helping…but we were both squirmy and tired and…we didn’t watch as many cartoons as we normally do.
I was wearing big girl clothes from a job interview earlier in the day; sheer black pantihose and a form fitting deep red dress that has always brought me luck in the past. I had kept the clothing on on purpose. I knew Daddy would love the outfit, and I knew that there were several runs in the pantihose, meaning that it had lived its lfe and deserved to die an honorable death.
I found out several months ago that a meta I have become fast friends with had a fondness for sharps. This is a fondage we VERY much share. I have enjoyed knife play since before I ever identified as kinky. I’m a sensation slut, and the cool steel against skin combined with the adrenaline of the fact that it can easily slice my flesh (because, YES, I love playing with working blades) for some reason makes me absolutely drenched. My body and mind still, and I all but purr when the blade skims over my flesh. I like to share with partners, and gift-giving is a huge part of my love language.. For some reason blades are high up in the hierarchy of gifts I give if I love someone. If I give you a blade, you are a significant fixture in my life.. You mean something. Chris has a blade from me that he often beats me with. James has countless blades from me of different styles (him being an avid sharps collector himself). Ryan has received two blades from me so far as I endeavor to grow his sharps collection for all of our pleasure.
Daddy led me of the couch and through his apartment, stopping briefly to pick up one of the blades I had given him. “Come with me, kitten” he purred, sadist smile on his face as he led me to the bedroom.
He slipped my pretty red dresss up and off, setting it safely aside before spinning me and having me face the bed. I heard the click of the knife coming out and bit my lip, holding off an orgasm when I hadn’t asked permission yet.
He attacked my waistband first, making quick work of it and my upper thighs. ” Oh goodness.. How attached to these panties are you, kitten?” Apparently, Daddy had sliced through the back of them. They still stood, but my red lace panties now had a slit right above my naughty back door.
There are times when Daddy is incredibly tender with me. He holds me, REALLY holds me, cradling me to his chest while I sit in his lap or simply surrounding me with his body. He makes me feel small, and safe, and cherished, and every time he’s done it in that moment it was the best feeling on the entire planet.
This was not one of those times. All the pretties from Tumblr in the last week had been rough. Being fucked with a hand wrapped around the throat or covering the nose, or both. Face fucking. Lots, and lots of face fucking. Hair pulling. Fucking within an inch of your life. I REALLY needed to be taken, and take Daddy did.
He grabbed me by my throat and squeezed before turning me and pushing me on to the bed, so that I was looking up at him. I couldn’t see the knife anymore. Daddy was on top of me, choking me, pushing down on my chest, teasing me. I sqirmed, I cried. He made me cum, purring out “cum for Daddy” over and over again.
He moved down my body, off the bed at one point. I felt cold, cool steel between my legs and then heard the sound of lace tearing. He sliced my panties further, exposing my bare princess parts. The legs and waistband were still in tact and Daddy hesitated. ‘Oh fuck’, I thought, ‘he’s going to fuck me through the panties.
And then his face lowered between my legs. Something he has, never, ever done before… I’m 90% positive that some of the mental, ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’s became audible at that point as Daddy teased my clit with his tongue. I get eaten out once on a very rare occasion. I’m an internal girl, and so it’s not something I honestly ask for when I know a partner has talented fingers and an amazing talented cock. There was something about the image, though, of Daddy’s head between my legs when I’ve so often been between his, that caused a ripple of pleasure I hadn’t expected. It was.. hot, the image almost surpassing the act itself. Almost.
The scruff of his beard created an usually delightful sensation as he teased and taunted licking and sucking and poking and doing godde knows what while I gripped the bedding like my life depended on it and tried not to curse as I slowly came undone. I cum at the drop of a hat…with almost anything. Only two partners have ever gotten me to cum while eating me out. It’s just a rarity to me.. I’ve faked it in the long past to make partners happy back when I was monogamous.. but..fuck.. There was no faking anything last night. Daddy drove me over the edge before crawling off just long enough to cut off the last of the panties, baring my pussy completely before he climbed on top and slid inside of me, fucking me with a hand wrapped around my throat. He came close to choking me out a couple of times… it’s a sensation I greatly enjoy and ahve missed… I trust Ryan enough that I think I honestly would enjoy him chocking me out and fucking me… but part of me is afraid of squicking him out with how rough I am willing to play and how much I trust him…
Thoughts for another day.
He fucked me, thoroughly manhandling me and positioning me as he pleased. I came, and came, and came, coming undone again and again, wrapped around his cock. Daddy is good to me. He always makes sure I cum a couple dozen times when he’s enjoying his hole.
He slipped out and decorated me, making a mess as he growled out an order to come with him. I, of course, did, and was all but purring by the time he cleaned both himself and I up and crawled back into bed. He pulled me into his arms, both of us panting and sweaty, and slowly, our breathing calmed and synched. Before I knew it I was asleep, surrounded in a cacoon of warmth and afterglow.
I still haven’t figured out how. But somehow, Daddy seems to always know exactly what I need.
Yours still purring,
My mind wandered while walking through Good Vibrations in the Mission neighborhood of San Francisco today. This is what it came up with. Not a journal entry… but a story.
Daddy and I play fun, fun games when he lets me come over.
Sometimes, I get to play with Daddy’s lollipop and make it big and hard while he’s talking to bigs on the phone. Sometimes we get to play hide the lolly, and I have to guess where Daddy’s gonna put it next. We’ve tickled, wrestled, and played doctor… our little secret, Daddy says.
Sometimes, Daddy tries new games. Like the scavenger hunt.
Daddy and I had play time at night. I was ready, making sure I had my stuffy and binky all ready for play time when my phone went BUZZ BUZZ
Daddy: Put down your little stuffy for a minute and go check outside, poppet.
I giggled and raced to the door, dropping my stuffy along the way. Sometimes, Daddy was magic. He knew the things.
A small brown box sat outside of my door. I took a photo and sent it along before bringing the box inside.
Good girl. Now look inside and let Daddy know what you find.
I squeed loudly and opened the box. What could it be? Candy? A new stuffy? Chocolate, which is soooo much better than just candy?
Inside were three little pink bags with numbers on them. 1, 2, 3. My phone lit up.
Open number 1, princess.
Inside was a pair of tiny, tiny panties that didn’t cover anything. I giggled. They were pretty, and soft, and see through.
Put them on for me, princess. Daddy likes pretty little panties over your pretty, pink princess parts. Open number 2 for me.
Inside the little pink bag was a tiny buzz buzz, one so tiny it could slip inside me and stay. I stared at it, already getting squirmy just looking at it.
That goes inside your princess parts, poppet. Can you slip it inside for me? I bet you’re nice and wet for Daddy already.
I sat down and pulled the tiny bit of pink aside, taking the buzz buzz into my other hand and slowly, slowly slipped it inside me. I was all wet already, think about Daddy’s fingers and lollipop instead of a silly buzz buzz.
Now number three.
Number three was a card with an address on it. After the first two I pouted, surprised and disappointed.
We’re playing a new game, sweetie. I want you to go to where the card says. Take a photo and send it to me when you get there. Can you do that for me? Be my good girl?
The address had big person toys inside, like buzz buzzes and dress up clothes for bigs. Daddy had taken me here before, one time when we were playing dress up and he said I could be a big girl for the night.
Just as I walked through the door the buzz buzz between my legs turned on. I squeaked, confused, and pressed my legs together as the cute pink panties got all wet.
Don’t get too distracted, poppet. I need you to find something for Daddy. Go all the way in the back and find me something big, and silver, and pink.
The buzz buzz was still on. I moved to the back of the store soooooo slowly, trying not to look at all the bigs. They didn’t know about the buzz buzz. It was our little secret.
The back of the store had more fancy dress up things, things that went in instead of on. I liked things that went in. I ran over the the row of shiny silver buttplugs that sat in rows, the stainless steel shining in the light from the store windows. This had to be the silver, but what..
Bunny! BUNNY BUNNY BUNNY!
There right in front was a fluffy pink bunny tail. I squealed in delight and picked it up, forgetting for just a minute about the buzz buzz while I sent a photo to Daddy.
I didn’t forget long. Suddenly the buzz buzz was BUZZING so much I let out a moan in the store.
Cum for Daddy.
I did, there in the corner of the store, wet trickling down my leg as I tried to keep standing and not have too many people look at me. I loved when Daddy told me what to do.
Good girl. Now on to the next place.
I whined as the buzzing lessened. I wanted to see Daddy NOW! Especially with the buzz, buzz, buzz making me all squirmy.
The next stop was a clothes store with all the things littles like me like. Little skirts, bows, pretty socks and shoes. My phone went buzz buzz while the buzz buzz inside woke back up again.
Go find a pretty outfit for Daddy, princess. Try it on and send Daddy a photo.
BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZ
I ran into the store, picking out a tiny black skirt, pretty pink top and pretty white knee socks. Giggling inside the changing room, I sent more photos to Daddy.
You are such a good girl for me, kitten. Now I need you to do something very special for Daddy. Can you do that for me?
Of course, Daddy.
Daddy doesn’t want anything underneath your pretty new outfit. I want you to take your pretty new panties off. Let Daddy see.
I gulped inside the dressing room. How was the buzz buzz going to stay in?
The pretty pink panties were all wet when I took them off. I spread my legs for Daddy, showing him they were all gone while the buzz buzz kept buzzing.
Cum for Daddy.
I didn’t change back into my clothes. Daddy said that was okay, since the skirt was all wet now.
Last stop, poppet. Daddy’s inside waiting for you with nommy food. Just make sure that your little buzz buzz doesn’t fall out, okay? Otherwise you don’t get the rest of your surprised.
I moaned out loud, trying to walk quickly yet carefully to the nommy food. The whole time the buzz, buzz, buzz kept buzzing.
I sent Daddy a photo of the nommy restaurant as I walked inside, looking around for him.
Buzz buzz went my phone.
Not so fast, kitten. You’re all wet. Go to the bathroom and clean up.
Groaning, I scurried to the bathroom as fast as the slippery buzz buzz would let met. Buzz buzz went my phone as I tried to clean up some of the wet running down my bare legs.
You’re forgetting something, poppet. Your outfit isn’t done. What’s missing?
The bunny tail. I gulped.
Be a good little bunny and put your tail in for Daddy. It will keep your buzz buzz nice and in place. I’m sure your princess parts are so slippery and wet by now. The buzz buzz needs help staying in place. Just remember, it can’t fall out princess
The silver plug at the end was soooo big. There in the bathroom stall, skirt hiked up and legs spread, I slowly began to ease the plug, but by bit, into my naughty back door. I moaned quietly, aware of the women in stalls on either side of me, working the plug in and out, in and out, until it worked itself in with a POP.
Daddy was MUCH bigger. Still. With the buzz buzz and the tail my little princess parts felt so tight. The wet got even worse as the buzzing started again..
Time for dinner, poppet.
I got three steps out of the bathroom when I felt a hand on the back of my neck. I squeaked, wanting to turn around and hug him but he squeezed, silencing me.
“This way, little love.” He started steering, using his hand on my neck to guide me to a table. Just as I reached the chair I felt the whiskers from his beard by my ear.
“Come for Daddy, my dirty little bunny girl.”
I let out a chirp, my legs slamming together as I sunk into the chair that Daddy pulled out. He laughed and kissed the top of my head.
“Good girl.” He pulled out his phone as he sat down. The buzz buzz buzz between my legs got worse. Between that and the tail I couldn’t sit still. I squirmed around on my seat, imagining the wet spot I was leaving.
Daddy ate SO SLOWLY. Any time I would let out whimper or wine he would hit his phone and the buzzing would get worse. “Patience, poppet.”
Finally, finally we ate all the noms. Daddy took my hand and walked me to the car, taking his time while I wiggled, the tail and buzz buzz still inside.
“Did you like our little game today, kitten?”
“Yes, Daddy.” I tried to find a comfy spot on the seat.
“Good girl. You know what you get?” He reached into the glove compartment and handed me a small container of chocolate sauce.
“You did so well on our scavenger hunt, princess, that I thought we could try two new games today. When we get home I thought we would see if chocolate tasted different on lollipops.”
I squirmed, all wet and drippy from my pretty tail and the buzz buzz and now there was chocolate.
“Does that mean I get to play find the lolly, Daddy? I’m good at finding things!”
“Yes you are, princess.” Daddy smiled.
I do so love when Daddy and I play games.
Aaaand the end. I do hope I managed to entertain all of you 😉
There is a lot about my various kinks that I have embraced over time. The further down the rabbit hole I go, the more I discover about myself. Some of it stopped me short when I realized it was a part of myself… That there is an aspect of myself that is very much a slave to the proper Master, that I just can’t do pick-up-play. That there is a part of me that is a pain slut when I’m in the proper mindset.
That I very much have a little side, and that that little is sexual…
My first discovery of my little side was with Smith…and when that blew up and bit me in the ass my little went into hiding, DEEP hiding. That aspect of myself was a core part of our dynamic. He was the first one to expose me to phrases like ‘princess parts’, who made me stop squirming at the idea of calling someone ‘daddy’. He helped show me that taboo can be attractive, erotic… that the fetish could be done in a healthy way and can be incredibly fulfilling. And then our whole dynamic exploded and I was cut out like cancer, my little discarded because his partner was severely triggered by he and I… Not even James could coax her out again.
For two years, my little hid. Unfulfilled. Slipping out in spirts of a bubbly voice and an obvious love of stuffies; a side of myself that filled me with severe amounts of shame because when she finally came out she was told she was horrible and wrong.
And then I got to know Ryan.
Ryan is a BaGG regular who I’ve known for over a year now, in some capacity. For a very long time he was the rather attractive fellow that James gave rides to from time to time. Then he became the rather attractive fellow that was always at BaGG. Then he was the attractive fellow with the REALLY pretty partner. Like. Really pretty.
And then I found out the attractive fellow thought I was also attractive. Meep. MEEEEEEEEP.
As my squirly brain often does, it had labeled Ryan as ‘crush’ and therefore ‘untouchable. I found out that was very much not the case sometime in the late summer months. He was established with his partner, and I was slowly creeping back into dating after my release..and I was restless. I liked his voice, calm and soothing with a ‘sadist with a smile’ quality. I enjoyed his calm, easy going nature that was a balm on frazzled nerves. I especially liked how well we had begun communicating.
The first time we played he tied me up, giving me a pretty chest harness with bottlecaps underneath the rope for the edge of pain I craved…and then he fucked me into oblivion. Holy crap, that man scratches that particular itch for me in a way that will have me sated for a good few days afterward (a rarity with a libido as active as mine). It was good, comfortable. We played well with one another…though the dynamic wasn’t mind-blowing, it was fun. And I found myself much, MUCH more attracted to him than I thought possible… He has strong arms with just the right amount of muscle, a fit body, and his legs… Yum yum yum yum yum….
Another date followed, this time at his place, and then the weeks went by. We talked, both at BaGG when we saw one another and online when we didn’t. I don’t quite remember how it started, but somehow the topic of me being a little slipped out.
He was interested. He liked the idea of it. More than liked it.
Part of me was hesitant. Yes, it had been two years…and yes, this was a stable play partner that I trusted… but did I trust myself not to fuck up again? What if my little was just bad, and not in the good way? What if it was the rotten part of myself that I just couldn’t show?
…If I didn’t try, I would never know.
And so, I dressed up. I wore a frilly pink shirt, my ‘little’ underwear, my hair in pigtails. I brought stuffies and let myself slowly, slowly relax into the dynamic as I drove to Ryan’s house.
I love when risks pay off. He spanked me, of course.. He pulled my hair, played with my ‘princess parts’ and made them feel ‘funny’ and ‘got me all wet’. He had me cumming so many times I lost track, and seemed to all but purr every time I called him ‘daddy’. That magic switched that existed when he called me ‘kitten’ or ‘sweetie’ worked both ways..and the dynamic went from good to pretty fucking fantastic. We found a very natural niche for both of us to play in, a need that others weren’t sating at the moment, and so we played through taboo whispers of mommy not finding out what we were doing, and the little girl begging for daddy’s hard cock in her bum and princess parts… I let myself go, let myself enjoy.
The dynamic has developed over time, and now our play dates are some of my favorite things. They are catharsis, release, whether he simply fucks me into oblivion or beats me with a hairbrush before. It’s fun, and easy. There is something about Ryan that from the beginning has felt incredibly… safe. Our relationship isn’t romantic, but I do very much love and care for the man, and his partner. I know he’s protective of me, that he has my back. I know that I can run to him and his lovely at BaGG if I feel unsafe or uncomfortable. I also feel so free to talk to him about my headspace, how I’m feeling and what I need from play on a certain night. I don’t feel on edge, or ashamed, or in need of censuring myself with him. Our negotiation skills are kinda top knotch, and there’s an ease to he and I that I respect and enjoy.
Some of my favorite parts of our playdates are our ‘games’. I have a wee bit of an oral fixation, as I’m sure has become quite apparent in my entries.. I love sucking cock. We developed a ‘game’ a couple of dates ago. While daddy is on the phone ordering take out, kitten kneels in front of him and sucks his cock. This usually continues until long after the phone call is over, much to my great pleasure. Ryan is not small..and I take great pride in being able to take all of him down my throat, even if it’s not for long yet.
Last date he led me into the bedroom by his cock, starting with me sitting on the couch. He let me suck him for a few moments, and then took a step back, forcing me to my knees chasing after him. Step by step, he backed toward his bedroom. Inch by inch on my knees I followed, eagerly bobbing my head after his cock in an attempt to keep a steady rhythm as we moved. He’s one of those that I always love the taste of..male and musk and..mmmmm.
He pushed me down onto his bed and thoroughly beat my ass, literally punching into me. I remain very much an impact slut and absolutely love rough body play. I can take a lot of thuddy punching, especially with two or three fingers shoved up my pussy as a fist slams into my ass. I get off on the impact, asking for more, begging for it…and I did beg. Asking daddy for more and begging to be allowed to cum. Sometimes he makes me wait… He gets me there so easily. Other times he forces the orgasm out of me, having figured out on our first date that I can cum on command. By the fourth or fifth orgasm I am spent, screaming and begging daddy, daddy, daddy over and over as fingers fuck me, and then his cock. He’s not one to relent, to let me off easily, and I enjoy the play even more for that. He stretches me, pushing me through orgasm after orgasm, his cock going so deep it hits my back wall more often than not and sends me spiraling even more often. If I’m a good girl, if I ask nicely, he’ll toy my ass. If I’m really good daddy will have me spread my bum and slide his cock, inch by inch, inside, pausing just for a moment before picking up a punishing rhythm that gets me off so quickly I can barely see straight. All the while I cling to the blankets, begging for more, trying not to scream..
Afterwards, there is tobacco (he smokes. I don’t, though I will at times steal a drag after sex). He more often than not will offer his house coat and slippers to me over real clothes, a touching gesture and ritual I’ve begun to enjoy. I like the fuzzy texture on my skin when it’s still buzzing with aftershock goodness. I love it combined with cuddles, the smell of tobacco and man and sex, and the ease in which Ryan and I communicate both in and out of scene.
It’s taken more than words to make my little side feel safe, cared for, and like she isn’t…bad. Innately evil. It’s taken touches and teases. Cuddles, cartoons, and dozens of sweeties, kittens, and lots and lots of patience. Ryan has seen me cry, both in and out of little space, and has offered a safe space for me. He is honestly an incredible top and an even better friend… and I’m not sure my little would have ever been coaxed back out of hiding without him, and the encouragement and support of his epic partner. The combo platter of the two of them in my life as my people, my safe place, my friends… I am lucky. Very, very lucky.
The further I jump down the rabbit hole, the more I learn about myself. I continue to marvel at how kinks and preferences can change, and how relationships can be so meaningful and yet so different as well. A few years ago I never though I would be talking about poly pods and seeing someone I’m involved with not just as himself, but part of a unit. It would have plagued me with so much jealousy and made me feel like a third wheel. Instead, compersion is very much a thing, and my happy little side squees at time with both of them.
And so, further down the rabbit hole I go.
Yours, ever growing and ever changing,