Tag Archives: dungeons

Day 28

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28) Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticized for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realized you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that.

We are human, submissives and Dominants. Sometimes we wish we weren’t. I know that there is a part of myself that always wants to be the BEST submissive possible, to please him more than anyone else has.

I am going to start this question off by answering the last part of it. I have never thought my decision to submit was a mistake. Never. It is as natural to me as breathing. It is a part of myself I shoved away for a very long time. I may make mistakes in that submission from time to time, but do I regret deciding to be who and what I am at any point in time? No. I am what I am. And to be honest, I love what I am. I have doubts about myself constantly…but not about my ability to submit or my skills as a submissive. It is the one place where I am completely sure of myself.

I had parts of my submission criticized, very early on. Very, VERY early on, back when Cal was still mentoring me. His girlfriend at the time decided that I was a threat to her, and my poor friend was so enthralled by the woman that he didn’t see for a long time just how much he was being manipulated. Every time I saw him, it was with her as well, so that we could never talk privately. At the time I was a little bit of a mess.. I was growing up, feeling those aches and pains of the first time you stand on your own two feet away from any outside help. I was scared, and just needed someone to tell me that it was going to be okay so that I could keep going. When we were alone, or when we talked privately, he reassured me that this was a normal part of growing up, and that this too shall pass and I would be okay. He would then list fifty thousand logical next steps that would short-circuit my panic button and make everything better. When I saw him with her, however… She noticed when I was upset and jumped at the chance to make it worse, telling me I wasn’t prepared to be in a relationship with someone of his age and experience, and that I should just move on.. She was right about the relationship, but I didn’t WANT a relationship, I wanted a teacher… She spent a good couple of months telling me I was a horrible submissive and would never learn to be one properly. Eventually I stopped talking to her and my friend, because I couldn’t fucking take it.

As for my submission letting me down.. The end with Kane. It wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t mine.. It was both of us stretching something out that should have been left behind and miscommunication all the while. He kept trying to tell me that he could no longer be what I needed… but he couldn’t find the words. He would try it gingerly, not fully wanting to let me go just as much as I didn’t want him to let me go.. And I misheard him time and time again. Every time he said “You deserve so much better.” I would go no no no. I don’t want better I want you… Subby mind was just too devoted to here Dominant. I loved being his. I loved wearing his collar… He gave me Disney. He gave me my first taste of feeling cherished, being someone’s princess… and I loved it. Letting go of that, even knowing that it was the right thing to do, was a heartbreaking process. Even then, it took me months to take off the collar. I felt at war with myself, pulling apart my day collar. I had to take it off myself because he didn’t have time to see me..but it felt horrible. It felt disloyal. I now understand why being properly released is so important. Because otherwise a submissive will eat themselves alive for doing something that they know is right but feels so wrong.

Phew.. Okay. That was a loaded one that brought up much emotional baggage… I’m going to go and pick out my dungeon outfit for this evening… Nothing like corsets and stilettos to make the night better.

As always, yours

-Rene

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Day 23

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23) Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

I am a big fan of different strokes for different folks. However, there are limits to this. I believe in the safe, sane, consensual tenant of BDSM.. and while the sane part is up for debate, the safe and consensual are not.

The only time I have questioned another submissive is when they were going into truly unsafe situations… I had a friend at Bondage a Go Go when I started going early on who called herself a pain slut. In all reality she was a heavy bottom, but not a pain slut, and she pushed her body too hard to prove just how much she could take (because she wanted to be the best of all the subs… Subbies you know how this is…). To do this, she would eat AFTER bag and not have any food before, because she believed that it allowed her to take more pain. One night she did this and on top of this took several medications that left her not in her right mind, combined this with alcohol, and then went to go play… The partner she was playing with cut the scene short because they saw she wasn’t right, but it was one of the few times I have gone over and lectured another submissive, as well as her primary for letting her put herself in that situation.

I’ve also met many a young ‘sub’ that was “looking for her Christian Grey.” They are easy to spot in a dungeon setting. Usually younger, dressed to the nines in lingerie and brand new heels, walking around with a bit of a dear in the headlights look. These lost little ones me and a few other experienced submissives will sit down and talk to, and try to explain the difference between Christian Grey and real Doms. It’s why so many of us read the books, so we could know thy enemy and keep young, vulnerable subbies from getting hurt.

There is a difference between a submissive putting herself in danger because she is under some sort of influence (be it alcohol or some fictional character) and a submissive letting her Dominant push her. I have seen a couple scenes that have had me question whether or not an ambulance should be called. You sit, you watch, you wonder, but in those moments you know that an experienced submissive has not had alcohol or drugs before playing, because they want to be fully aware of their body and what is is going through. An experienced Dominant will be able to read their submissive’s body to pace the play out so that even if they’re pushing, it will be something they know that their submissive can take. And if something happens, if something gets pushed to far, everyone knows how to safeword, and will if they need to. You sometimes just have to trust that. And when you can’t, well, that’s what dungeon monitors are for.

You can’t always judge a book by its cover. James and I have made the dungeon monitors look up a few times, because he makes me howl. He will hit me hard enough that the sound of the crack will echo throughout the entire dungeon, and I in turn will scream like a banshee. He pushes me, and I let him push me. Everyone in that dungeon knows we’re experienced. The DMs have seen James for years in the scene, and while I haven’t been around for as long they know me as well. They trust that if I need to, I will red out. And I have in the past, with other partners.

As for my own submission… of course I’ve struggled with it. When my mother told me I could be anything I wanted to be I don’t think she pictured one of those things as someone who craved spankings, floggings and the phrase ‘good girl’. Strong, independent women are not supposed to want to kneel at their boyfriend’s feet.. I struggled most with something that has become one of my biggest kinks. The concept of being owned.

The collar. One of my biggest turn-ons is the thought that someone wants me enough, values me enough, that they want me to be one of their possessions. They want to own me. They will share, but I will be theirs to do with as they well. Coming to terms with wanting that, with craving that.. it took me some time. There is still a stigma to D/s, and to BDSM in general. It takes time to realize that the stigma is just something¬† you learn how to live with.. That it’s going to be part of your everyday life whether you want it to be or not.

It’s a matter of how you live with it that matters. I will never be ashamed of who and what I am. It has taken me a long time to get there, and I’ll be damned if I’m going back… But I’ve learned what to and not to share with people about who I am. Sometimes that makes me sad, that I can only be half of myself with people.

But then I rejoin my people… and I frolic in the dungeon. James makes me scream, and all is right with the world.

Yours, as always

-Rene

Day 22

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Day 22

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

My friend Cal is a Domly Dom. I’ve described him as being able to be spotted as Dominant from 100 feet away. This attribute may be heightened when his girl is kneeling at his feet or curled up in his lap, but standing on his own he reeds as Dominant. Those who aren’t in the scene may not know that he was a Dominant, but he would read as a domineering person in general, a take charge boss man that looks like he should be calling the shots.

The same can be said on the other end of the spectrum. My submissive tendencies don’t go away when I’m not with my Sir… and somethings this can be a really annoying thing…because I can’t control it.

When I am upset and around people I trust I become incredibly submissive. Most of my friends know that I like to sit on the floor when I cry, that I will apologize for every little thing (including apologizing so much) and that the easiest way to make my mood right is to order me to action. Tell me to do something so that I’m not focusing on my own melancholia.

My submissive side is strong enough and, ironically, dominant enough in me that it comes out, partner or not, and I am lucky enough to have people in my life that know how to handle me when this does happen. They are not necessarily Doms but toppy people that know what to do when I go subby.

I’m not necessarily one of those people that goes “Dom shopping” when I’m single, and I have been single in the scene before. I’ve mentioned before that I am a picky bitch when it comes to relationships. When I feel a need to formally submit but don’t have a Dominant in my life, I am lucky in that I have friends. Friendships in the scene…can be interesting. Some of my friends I go to dinner and drinks with… some of them beat my ass in a dungeon when I ask. It ends up not being in a sexual way, rather in a cathartic way. Their need to Dominate ends up as strong as my need to submit, and the play makes both of us feel better and more right in our own skin.

I’m one of those who is blessed and cursed with the fact that my submission never really goes away. I would like to think that has the ability to make me a damn good submissive to my Sir, and that he is proud to call me his, because it isn’t an act. It’s not a mask that I put on for an evening performance. It’s in me, same as my need to create. I love it, and sometimes I hate it.

Yours, subby as ever

-Rene

Day 20

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Day 20

Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance?

I wouldn’t say it has increased or decreased.. I would say it’s stabilized.

When Cal found me eons ago all he had to do was tell me that it was real for me to be all in. I had wanted it for ages… felt a need to submit that I couldn’t understand and couldn’t name at the time. I was one of those hopeless souls that clung to kinky novels and prayed that something, anything like that existed… And when it did I threw myself in full-tilt. So much so that I think even if Cal hadn’t had a significant other the mentor-ship would have ended. I wanted to swim in the deep end of the community when he was slowly dipping his toes back into the water.

I did… but perhaps not in the most healthy way. When Kane and I were together, we were basically 24/7. I would live at his house during the week while his wife was away and then go back to my place on the weekends. Certain things I loved.. I still love. I would have dinner waiting for him when he got home from work, along with me on my knees at the front door in lingerie. I would clean the house. He would leave me chores to do; exercise, do laundry, etc, and I admit weight wise that I was lighter then than I am now (and no I’m not happy about that dammit -_- But I’m a work in progress).

…I think we loved the fantasy of 24/7, but neither of us were ready to deal with the realities of it.. That eventually he would need to deal with the stress of a failing marriage, that I was too young realistically for him because he could never comfortably swallow that age gab… That I wanted children and he was past that age where that was going to be realistic.

It was a gradual shift. It started with me staying home two weeks and being with him for a week. Then five days. Then four.

Eventually the sleepovers stopped.. His life had become too hectic. There was too much stress at work to try to fit me in. And because he was my Dom, because I wore his collar, I trusted that it would all be okay. We talked about it all being okay. That I loved him and he loved me and that was all that mattered…

… This is surprisingly hard to write… It’s been about a year since things started falling apart. Since the downward spiral began.

I had to renegotiate the entire relationship in my head time and time again, not because I willingly wanted to and it was the healthy thing to do but because I had no choice… He was my Dom and my boyfriend. I had to trust that he was doing things for a reason at that it would all be alright. That eventually we would get back to Disney. In my head I explained away the way he treated me time and time again, something I’m incredibly conscious of now. Dominants are not gods, they are humans, and when they stop communicating they make very bad, very painful mistakes. Kane made a few. He is still my friend…but he very much shattered parts of me. That’s taken a while to heal.

The relationship with James is a different D/s dynamic than I’ve had before.. There is no label, bedroom only, 24/7, etc. I’m not in subby mode all the time. There are times when I am very much, and very happily, his girlfriend. And then he flips that subby switch. He can do it with a look, a tone, a glance, and I’m on my knees with my chest out and my back arched. It’s laced through everything for both of us..because kink is laced through our entire lives. What we do, how we both want to make our livelihoods, is saturated with the kink world, and rather than fight against it and try to create a separate persona we’ve both embraced it whole-heartedly.

Sometimes labels just don’t work.. When you remove some of them, you find the balance.

Yours playing catch up

-Rene

“Sexy”

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I have never considered myself to be “sexy.” Ever.

That is not to say that I consider myself unattractive or ugly, or that I don’t think people desire me. I just have never thought of myself as sexy.

This evening was a lovely example of why. For one of my jobs I make my own hours. I found myself in one of my favorite neighborhoods in the city tonight after several hours of work and a parking spot miraculously appeared. Being a fan of signs from the Universe, I decided to take the spot and give myself the rest of the night off.

I was parked across the street from Good Vibrations, one of my favorite stores for toys of the buzz buzz variety, novelty items, informative classes of a variety of topics, and erotica of various topics (they have a fantastic website as well and are super female friendly. Seriously, if you can’t get to the stores check out their website. They tend to throw in free goodies whenever you order… – http://goodvibesblog.com/). The only catch with the store is that you have to be 18+ to enter, understandably considering what they sell.

I was standing in the store perusing the erotica to see if there were any holes in my Alison Tyler collection when one of the employees of the store walked over and just sort of..stared at me. I was in my more saucy outfits (again, not sexy… so saucy is about as close as it gets), a bright blue, low cut leopard print dress with a back cut out. It’s form fitting on top, flairs at the waist, and hits me just above my knee. My ass is covered so long as gusts of wind behave themselves and manage not to blow in an upwardly direction. That happens and..well.. I flash Valencia Street, but otherwise I love the dress. I had my hair back to show off marks on both my chest and neck left behind from James, actually had a dash of makeup on for once, and thought that I looked liked my nearly-24-years.

“Excuse me sweetie, but I’m going to need to see your I.D.”

I had been zoning, mentally reliving some of my favorite spicy moments from old erotica friends when she spoke to me. I think my head actually snapped up in surprise.

“Ok.. may I ask why?”

“Just let me see it please, sweetie.”

I handed it over and watched this poor girl turn scarlet. She couldn’t have been older than nineteen, if that, and was not someone I was familiar with working in the store.

“Oh I’m so sorry miss! I really thought you were closer to my age! You just.. you look seventeen!”

I am a rather compact creature, standing all of 4 ft 10.5 inches. I have been called a people mcnugget, pocket sized, fun sized, nibble sized, and a lot of woman in a little package.. I have curves, an ass that I’m pretty sure has its own orbit..and a baby face with big brown eyes and full lips on top of it all. I am very used to people thinking that I am younger than I am. It’s one of the main reasons I fought my Little side for so damn long. Under 21 I am used to, and I have accepted that I will be carded until I either finally go grey or wrinkles take over my face and my tits sag to my ankles.

But under 18? I haven’t passed for that young in a very long time.

So, why am I rambling on about me being mistaken for a teenager?

I do not consider myself sexy.. However I can do adorable very well. And innocent. And innocently wicked. I can do sexily sweet, easily corruptible, wide-eyed with wonder, and I’ve been told I look rather pretty when I cry.

There is no one-way to be a submissive, or to be attractive as that submissive.

When you dive into the public scene you quickly discover that there is a sort of dungeon uniform for the submissive type; corsets, garter belts, thigh highs, heels… Nipple clamps and cuffs and leashes, oh my! With that uniform comes a certain mental expectation as to how that uniform is going to end up looking on you.

The harsh reality is that the uniform almost never looks how you imagine.

After that harsh reality begins the hard part, figuring out what your dungeon uniform will be.

Dressing up for public play is not about fitting some subby stereotype. It’s about putting on whatever makes you feel like you are the most desirable creature on the planet. What makes you feel like the best you possible, whether you are the 6 ft 5 Amazon or the innocent looking 4 ft 5 little pet.

“Sub-type” is a very big blanket term, as is “bottom”. This includes, but is not limited to, Littles, pets, submissives, slaves, masochists… the list is endless… and what makes a pet who sees themselves as a little lion look their best is going to be different than a slave who sees themselves at their master’s feet whenever humanly possible.

I try really hard to remind myself of this during those ‘you look 17’ moments. I know my strengths. I work my curves, my innocence, and I’m damn good at batting those big brown eyes and pouting those lips. But when you’re involved with someone who makes a living taking photographs of the stereotypical ‘gorgeous’ and ‘sexy’ women it’s hard to remember your strengths. There are times when I wish with everything in me I weighed about half of what I did and was about half a foot taller, where I could scamper around and pose in a way that people would consider me ‘beautiful’ as well and look twice at me.

But most of the time I remember that I have my own unique ways of making the lovers in my life look twice. My ‘uniform’ fits me, and while I may not be the definition of ‘sexy’ you would see if you looked it up in the dictionary, I feel my best walking around the dungeon in my corset and frilly panties. I’m slowly reaching the point where I feel confident walking around the dungeon in nothing at all, especially after a scene. I know where I fit. I know I belong in that space and that the people that want me there want me as I am.

That’s about a sexy as it gets in my book.

Yours fun sized ūüėõ

-Rena

Flogging and Flying

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Once a week or so, I’ve discovered a need to fly.

With Kane, I soar. I reach new points of emotional security, of knowing myself and my place. At this point I wear a day collar proudly, showing that I am happily in service to such an incredible man. A man who pushes me emotionally, who wants me to work artistically as he works. With him is where my heart lies, safe and secure with a man who I know cherishes every ounce of submission I give him. I love him for loving and accepting everything about me.. even the stuffed animals.

Yes, he will spank me. He will tie me up and do wonderfully wicked things to me. He’s started taking a firmer hand to me the more we explore, and has begun to push me in ways I never expected, but as of now he has not used a flogger on me.

He knows that I’ve developed this.. need to play outside of his place or mine. That I thrive walking around the Citadel, all dolled up turning the heads of men as I walk by. I have a need to be strapped to a cross or ordered onto one of the tables and have floggers and paddles taken to my ass, my shoulders my back. I’ve taken to wearing outfits to the Citadel that allow for easy access to my bare ass, because I know that by the end of the evening I will crave seeing it black and blue.

My pain threshold has absolutely gone up since I started playing regularly. There are things that I like better than others, obviously.. I had a discussing with Cal the other day about single tales not exactly being my thing, and Cats pushing me… but a soft deer skin flogger? Mmm…. for the love of Godde please bend me over and turn my ass red.

It’s a cathartic weekly release, to fly. Fridays are my night to play. To go out and get what I need so I can come back, content and able to serve a man I very much love. Play for me very rarely means sex with others lately.. My partners have shifted. In the dungeon I would rather play with the older men in the scene that I”m not truly attracted to, but that know how to handle a flogger better than the attractive young ones who would love to have me over their knee. They push me into Subspace so easily it isn’t even funny. After a week of work, of service, of routine, going out and just being for those few hours… I love it.

I find it amusing how much I’ve enjoyed spanking and flogging, when I was almost never spanked as a child. My parents laid a hand on me..maybe twice in my entire life? And here I am craving what others fear. Jase actually mentioned that he was worried about how much pain I could take. “Just don’t break your ass” he said, before transitioning into a conversation about how he ordered his amazing girlfriend flowers and they’re having a Skype movie date…blah blah blah. I know my limits, and I’m selective about who I do a scene with.

I do have a new little play partner, Tom. He’s older than baby Chris, but not yet thirty, in the same career field as me, an east coaster..and really really good with his fingers. I don’t know where this will take me..but I enjoy his company, and I am exceedingly attracted to him. We’ve discussed going to the next Bent party together and playing.. I admit, I like this idea. I find him exceedingly attractive and would hardly mind being led around the dungeon by him.

I guess this is where I start truly balancing multiple partners, not just casual play partners? Oh, poly… how it makes my head hurt.

Yours discovering ways to fly
~Rena

P.S. There is a movie on Hulu, Inside the 50 Shades. I’m sure most of you know that the book is… well… If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all, but the movie goes into people actually in the scene. It’s worth watching, especially I think for Doms. There’s a man on it that talks in detail about learning from the bottom up, which is something Cal has expressed to me along with a few other Doms.. Worth watching.

Play Time

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I’ve been playing quite a bit lately, so much so that it seems the only time I’ve had to write about it was now that I’m pulled away from that world for a whole two weeks. I’m currently 3000 miles away from my every day life, at my parent’s home in New Jersey with my cat in my lap and my dog at my feet. What better a time to share my bits of fun.¬†

I’m very bad at just..random play, probably because I am still figuring out how far my body can be pushed and what exactly feels good to me. However, I have been socializing quite a bit and that has led to meeting some unique playmates whose company I’ve been enjoying.¬†

My favorite on a social level is by far a man named Kane. He’s a fellow artist, like myself, and that’s what started our communications back and fourth. Much like when Cal and I started talking, he opened the dialogue by mentioning a certain piece of my work that I have a soft spot for..and we took off from there into a rousing debate between the Expressionists and the Impressionists, and why we like both and why we don’t like it. It was a good week and change before we actually got around to talking about anything kinky.¬†

For him, it’s not about the ‘scene’, and public play doesn’t do it for him. For personal reasons, his play is very private, and it is also very closely integrated into some of his work. He is exceedingly picky about who submits to him, because they also inevitably become his muse. That was originally what made me want to play with him. The idea intrigued me, and flattered me that he thought I could be his muse. There was also a vey real boundary between he and I that kept away any danger of falling too deeply, or falling at all, and that has kept me in check with him. I can honestly say that I am attracted to his personality, and that I get great pleasure from just sitting and talking with him. I love that he thinks of me outside of the BDSM scene. The last time we got together, we got back to his place and he surprised me with new water color pads and beautiful new portable water color set. He knew I was traveling home and wanted me to be able to work while I was there. “I just was in Flax and thought of you.” he said, smiling.. I may have tackle hugged him.¬†

He may have tied me up afterward. He draws me like a kinky Matisse nude, and I find myself exceedingly flattered that he has deemed me captivating enough to keep in his company. 

Another playmate of mine I have mentally gone back and forth about… I liked him originally, admitting to Cal when I met him that I had a bit of a crush. By the next evening however he was driving me up the walls. Little things bothered me. I didn’t like how he smelled (eerily like my ex…) or that he ordered me to be affectionate afterwards. The play itself was FANTASTIC. I felt the bruises for days afterward and and wore them with a smile on my face. However, by the time the evening was over I had decided that the next time we got together there would be no snuggling and sleeping after, no matter how many orgasms he caused me to have and how exhausted I was.¬†

I ran into him again, at a play party at the local dungeon that I had gone to with a platonic friend. That meeting.. went radically differently, and ended with my first public scene and my first introduction to what being in subspace feels like. There I was in my element. I wanted to be affectionate; I liked him having his arm around me and wanting to paddle my ass until it all but glowed red. Thanks to him I discovered that I actually DO enjoy pain mixed with pleasure…and that a flogger handled properly is amazing. But why was I so attracted to him there and not the time before? Perhaps part of it was that I was still in the D/s relationship with Cal when George and I first met. Whether or not I want to admit it, Cal was always in the back of my mind when I played with others..or even flirted with others. I would do the bad thing.. compare, when I know I shouldn’t have. Another influence was probably the dungeon we were in, where I was in a very altered headspace and felt completely comfortable in my own skin. I was willing to go there, in an arena where I felt like we had a more even playing field than in his apartment.¬†

The third and final playmate of mine is a baby, and a switch. I say baby because he is much less experienced than the other two, and more that a decade younger as well. Chris is a handful of years older than I am, and reminds me eerily of one of my exes..but all the good things about him. He’s an ass hole in a snarky, sarcastic sort of way, and in certain ways I love that. He and I played at the play party as well.. though it was less play and more..well.

He and I met at a singles mixer weeks before. I liked him, however, life got in the way. I got pulled away into a new job, money issues, moving, etc.. and became horribly neglectful of my phone, which meant putting off the sexual tension between he and I. When we saw each other again at the play party we both knew that toys kinda.. didn’t matter for this romp. It was time to get rid of the damn sexual tension, and so we did. I played with him about a half hour after finishing the scene with George, which had pushed me to my limit and had me flying at the end. My ass was still sore, and wonderfully hot. A couple smacks with Chris’s bare hands and I was flying again. The sex was rather fantastic…but that also might be because of the mental space that I was in. Either way, I enjoyed playing with him. He plays a bit more vanilla than both George and Kane, and is much more on my level to where I feel comfortable experimenting and asking him to try this or that on me. He is a snarky, sarcastic friends with benefits… which is nice.

In certain ways I wish I had a primary partner.. and in other ways I’m loving the freedom of my playmates. All three are incredibly different, and thusly so are my interactions with them. With George I feel an instant need to fall to my knees and address him as sir (lowercase, thank you very much. He’s not my sir yet, but he is a regular partner and finds the term respectful when playing), and strive to get the “good girl” from him. With Kane.. it’s sensual, sweet, and pulls at my artistic heartstrings. No titles with him, just orders and held positions, and passion of a different sort. With Chris I don’t feel like kneeling at all. Once the scene is over I stand and look him in the eyes, which is nice in its own way.¬†

I have a lot going on in my vanilla life right now.. a lot of changes. Having my kinky life fall into a regular pattern of visits and dinners has in certain ways lifted a weight off my shoulders. It’s some normalcy, some safety while I continue to discover what exactly I want and do what I have to do in the other aspects of my life. I LIKE the play. I miss the serving element.. the orders, the tasks.. but that comes with time, and with feeling. I was told to be very picky in picking a primary partner..and I plan to be. I’m not jumping at the first Dom that gives me the time of day. In the meantime I will simply improve other aspects of my submission, which including exploring and refining my lists of limits and fetishes…

I would say there are much worse things in this world ^.~

The cat has decided it’s time to chase the dog around the house… ho boy. Back to vanilla life.¬†

-Rena